“Alien is a rape movie with male victims”

…nós não temos críticos de cinema assim?

The other week I went to see a science-fiction thriller called Pandorum which opens – rather memorably – with a scene in which a befuddled Dennis Quaid falls out of a space-pod dressed only in his underpants. The film that follows amounts to a prolonged bout of paranoid hysterics. People scream and run about and get eaten. There is a dark and rusting spaceship, a gaggle of barely glimpsed monsters and a sexy, effortlessly confident warrior woman who puts her bungling male counterparts to shame. It is, if you appreciate this sort of thing, a perfectly serviceable motion picture.

But Pandorum gives us something else as well. Every scene – every frame – comes tainted with the nagging, lingering whiff of deja vu; a sense that there is an altogether better movie nestled deep inside, waiting to burst forth. Afterwards it strikes me what that movie is, and I reel out of the cinema like a suitor at the end of a misbegotten date. The only reason I like Pandorum, I realise, is because I am still in love with Alien.”

(*) copirráite Brad DeLong